I became the mother of two small children while working as a full-time clinical perinatologist at Brigham and Women’s hospital and running a basic neuroscience research lab at Harvard Medical School. My life was intense and demanding and I was profoundly dissatisfied. I felt the need for spiritual guidance, a north star that could help me find my way. I found George Bowman, founder and teacher of the Single Flower Sangha and became his student. George’s love and commitment to Zen practice was moving and deeply inspiring. I joined him in Zen training at Mt Baldy with Joshu Sasaki Roshi. In 2003, George gave me lay ordination and my dharma name, Myoko.

I started my Zen training with Joshu Sasaki Roshi in the summer of 2002. A brush with melanoma and mortality in 2003 ignited in me the urgency and determination to practice even more vigorously. Sesshins at Mount Baldy, were extremely rigorous training periods in the traditional Japanese Rinzai Zen style. Roshi guided us with patience, love, and deep generosity. I had never met anyone with such unwavering dedication to teaching. It was an immense privilege to have studied with him and to explore a universe I did not know existed. My last visit with him was a few weeks before he died at the age of 104. By then, he had dismantled much of his organization in response to a scandal. The grounds of the temple that had always bustled with activity were now eerily empty. He was alone with a few loyal students, barely breathing, barely alive. I had experienced Roshi’s capacity to read my thoughts so I was determined to meet him with a clear mind. He looked so weak and feeble. I felt my heart break and had the thought “Roshi why are you holding on? Why are you not leaving this world?” To my horror, he looked up at me and very clearly said: “I am not going to die until you become completely one.” Those were the last words I heard him say to me. As I was walking down the narrow stairs of that quiet and lonely house I crossed Leonard Cohen. Leonard visited Roshi almost every day. He was a loyal and courageous friend, undeterred by scandal and public opinion.

After Roshi’s death in 2014, I felt lost and disappointed and set Zen practice aside. I started attending gatherings with non dual teachers. They offered an inclusive view of the world with a core practice of gentle self inquiry. Effort, concentration and focus, now eased into rest and receptivity. Pamela Wilson embodies a deep and beautiful spirit. Through her, I discovered the blessing of the Divine feminine, its strength, beauty and self-reliance. Her teaching is a powerful one: take a seat, welcome everything in, show it gratitude and respect, reassure it and allow it to find its freedom. She teaches in the U.S. and around the world. Her presence in my life is an enormous blessing.